The (Un)comfortable Life
Have you ever felt like you were standing on the brink of a giant cliff? Everything in your life had brought you to THIS MOMENT - right to the edge of the something huge. Something you know will impact your life in a huge way, and direct your path. It's overwhelming. It's uncertain how things will turn out. It's uncomfortable.
Comfort. Did I just go there?
I love telling myself that I'm radical. That I take giant steps of faith everyday. That I'm willing to forsake my L.I.F.E. (Labour, Influence, Finances, Expertise) to follow God. I want to believe that I live an uncomfortable lifestyle of sacrifice. Yet when I re-evaluate my life, rarely are these things true. I mostly find that everyday I make millions of choices centered around one thing: my comfort. Making sure that life is fully meeting my expectations, desires and needs. Me. Me. Me.
I usually don't even realize I live in a lifestyle of selfish comfort until God brings me to those places of discomfort and my gut reaction is to freak out. I tell myself: "This wasn't what I planned", "I never expected it to feel this way", "this is too hard - this can't be right." Big pivotal moments I remember feeling like this were going into university, preparing to travel to India for 4 months, going on a missions trip, and graduating university.
Now, I'm on the brink of something else. A new cliff to stand at the edge of, not knowing how it will turn out. Will I jump and make it to the other side, or will I fall? How much will I change? Am I ready for something this huge? I feel terrified and excited all at the same time. I feel extremely uncomfortable - diving into the unknown. I know that this discomfort will continue, but I'm starting to see that as a good thing. Living an uncomfortable life only increases my dependance on God. All those moments where I felt out of control I've had to turn to the One who is fully in control. I have to lay aside my pride and admit that I don't know how things will turn out. But I can trust in God who knows my paths and works all things together for my good.
There are moments when I feel tempted to turn and run in the other direction. To say no to change and packing up my life. To stay exactly where I am - or if possible, go back in time. But I can't go back now. I need to reject the lie telling me that comfort will lead to a satisfying life. The lie that choosing ME over GOD will lead to purpose, meaning and fulfillment. If I choose comfort over obedience, I know I will miss out on the most incredible, fulfilling adventurous life of following God. It's uncomfortable but it'll be worth it.
Here goes nothing my everything. =)